I’m always amazed when my daughter asks if she can do something or not. She still looks to see if her actions are ok with me. Even though it feels good to be asked, I also know that looking to me for the answer doesn’t foster her own knowing. So, when I am in a mindful space, I pause for a minute, when she asks, and pose the question back to her. How do you feel about doing it?

Often she doesn’t know and yet when I sit with her and encourage her to check in she often knows exactly what she needs. Slowing down enough to make space for her to find her own internal wisdom is a practice. It is definitely easier to tell her what I think is right or wrong. Unfortunately, my right or wrong answer is coming from my own internal perceptions and doesn’t make room for her own intuitive knowing.

Giving myself the space to be open and listen allows her to go deeper inside to find her own knowing.

Practice: Today become aware when your child asks you if they can do something or not. Instead of answering immediately yes or no see if you can pause and pose the question back to your child. Make space to see what their own internal decision tells them. You may still feel the need to say no and yet encouraging them to check in with their own internal knowing is a wonderful practice.

Ahhhh……. Being with myself while being with my daughter in her “no” can bring up all kinds of things in my internal world. The one thing, I often forget is she feels the same way when I throw my “no” around without considering how it affects her.

Learning to sit with my own internal response to her “no”, allows space for her to say “no” without feeling my withdrawal of love. Raising a daughter, with a strong “no” is something I think is a great idea until the “no” is directed toward me. Seeing how my mixed message can be very confusing to her, allows me to slow down and remember to make space for her to experience her “no” which always leads to a bigger “yes” in the end.

Practice: Today become aware of how many times you say “no” to your child. Also, begin to notice when they say “no” to you. Remember defiance is a strong “no” and when you meet it with a “yes” it will often relax. See if you can give yourself a little space to actually respond instead of react to your child’s no and see what happens.

Our children come into this world pure and awake. This is why we feel in awe when we see a newborn baby. By the time we are adults, we are defended and protective and living out of a different story of ourselves. We have forgotten that we too, at our core, are pure and awake.

Coming into contact with our child’s outrageous exuberance and joy can either trigger our own joy or do the opposite. It may trigger our pain, in forgetting our own, and cause us to shut down our child’s. We hear the stories we were raised with, and still hold true in our consciousness, and believe them to be true. Opening to love requires that we question ANY belief that shuts down our heart to our child.

It takes a strong commitment and willingness to stay open and parent in this way. Returning to who we truly are is only a moment away for it always exist. We just have to shift our focus from our story, to the moment, opening our heart to seeing every expression as sacred.

Practice: Today ask yourself are you living in an old story or are you able to open to the truth of the moment and accept who you truly are. Step out of your story, for a moment, and touch in with the beauty of who you are
reaching out to your child with the hand of joy!