Category Archive: Uncategorized

Purejoy Parenting: The Mirror

April 21st, 2011 Parenting Advice, Uncategorized 2 Comments

Oh, how I love my darling daughter for she is such an incredible mirror for me to see myself in all aspects. When I am glowing, strong and happy I see her shining face reflecting back my love. When I’m cranky and judgmental I see her dark angry face lashing back, shining light on this side. It is actually an incredible gift to see myself through her eyes.

When I’m able to open and see the reflection, without judgment, I’m learning I don’t have to reject the parts of me that are so painful to see. When I can find the courage to sit right smack down in the discomfort and hold myself, instead of lashing out at my daughter, I find a place of stillness and quiet. I become curious as to what is going on inside that the mirror is reflecting. Usually I see a rejected child who lashes out in anger when she is not seen and heard. When I’m able to turn my compassion back on her and finally give her the love and understanding she needs the mirror suddenly clears.  Suddenly, I’m able to see the true reflection my daughter is showing me….love.

When seeing a dark side of yourself in the mirror remember the following.

  • What you are feeling is not caused by your child it is caused my what is being triggered in you.
  • You have the power to turn the light back inside and reclaim the part of you that is being mirrored.
  • As the discomfort arises, take time to go within and acknowledge the part of you that is showing up
  • See your child as the reflection but not the cause of your pain.
  • How we treat ourselves is how we will treat our children.

Come Join The Party

April 16th, 2011 Uncategorized 8 Comments

The Peaceful Housewife I’m excited to join Jenny over at The Peaceful Housewife in her first Blog Party. She has started out the fun by asking the following questions.

1. How many children do you have, and how old are they? I have one daughter who is 11 and a community of kids I support and love. (I live in co-housing)
2. Do you have a partner, or are you a single parent? I adopted my daughter as a single mom.

3. What are your “hot button” parenting issues? One of the most challenging things I
work with as a parent is taking responsibility for my feelings. So I get a bit nutty when I hear a parent telling a child that they hurt somebody else’s feelings.

4. Is there one book or person in particular that’s heavily influenced your parenting
choices? I love to read and am always reading new material around parenting. After, I had created Purejoy I found Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control which blew me away because if felt so similar.
5. If you had to describe each of your children using only one word, what word would you
use?
outrageous
6. Is there one parenting decision that you regret more than others and wish you could
change? I wish I would have moved to co-housing earlier to garner support for me.
Asking for help is hard for me so I wish I would have asked for more help when I
needed it.
7. Is there an area of your parenting you wish you were better at?
I continue to strive to love myself ever so deeply since I believe the greatest gift I can
give my daughter is knowing who I truly am.

Now for the fun questions –
8. is there one particular food or type of food that you could eat every day? I love all kinds
of breads and pastries…LOL Chocolate croissants…YUM!
9. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate? Vanilla with chocolate chips
10. What’s your guilty pleasure? Taking a nap in the afternoon
11. If you could be part of any television show, which show would it be?
We don’t have TV so I’m not up on the new shows but have introduced my daughter to the
Jetson’s, on You Tube and remembered how much, as a kid, I wanted to be Judy Jetson.
Now I am!

Loving The Peaceful Housewife

April 12th, 2011 Uncategorized No comments

When I was little I always dreamed of getting married and having babies. And yet, before then I was going to be a famous actress who could afford a nanny, a cook, a chauffeur and a personal assistant to take care of all the little details in life. I would spend all day playing with the children and leaving all the messes for someone else to clean. Ahhh those childhood dreams….still linger when it comes time to clean up or do the laundry.

So, when Jenny at The Peaceful Housewife asked if anyone would like to try out her new product line I jumped on the opportunity. Reading Jenny’s blog and following her on Facebook convinced me that she is one amazing housewife. She has kids, she makes products, she is a wife and gathers us mommy bloggers together to share. Whew!

I WANTED HER PRODUCTS! Maybe, I would turn in to a peaceful housewife…well, I can dream can’t I?

What I did discover was how sweet and clean my laundry smelled, how crystal clear my windows were and how fun it was to wash my hands with the foaming soap. Her products rock. The are non-toxic, biodegradable and made with love, love, love….. Yes, I am making a sales pitch here. I don’t get anything from you ordering except a smile on my face imagining you having as much fun as I did playing at being a peaceful housewife. The Peaceful Houswife

Tags:

Precious

July 31st, 2010 Uncategorized No comments

Recently a dear friend, Joe Miller, died tragically rock climbing. He was my next door neighbor and Lara, his wife, is one of my closet friends in my community. He left 3 young kids and his beautiful wife. We will miss him dearly, in our community, for he was a giver of time to anyone who asked. Joe knew the most precious gift of all was, his attention.

At his memorial what struck me deeply were the stories about Joe dropping everything, when a friend called in need. It was amazing to hear how many people called Joe their best friend. The most touching was his 6 year old buddy, C, who stood up and told everyone that Joe was his best friend.

During the memorial they gave out t-shirts that said, Be More Joe. For me, this means committing to drop everything, when my daughter needs me, giving her my attention instead of my “just a minute” line I often use. I’m choosing to see my attention as my greatest gift. Thanks to Joe for showing me the way.

Practice: When you are doing something you think is important and your child needs a moment of your attention instead of telling them to wait, stop what you are doing and make a connection. It only takes a minute….. Be More Joe