Being open and responsive to our child’s need can be challenging when we are struggling with our own. When I’m stressed out and haven’t resourced I have a hard time seeing my daughter’s need as anything except one more thing I’m responsible for. I shut down and flip a switch which says “take care of yourself, or even worse take care of me.” Our connection suffers and I’m always left feeling alone and like a “bad” mama.
Connecting, with my needs, can be challenging since I can convince myself other people’s needs are more important than mine. Just one more thing, I tell myself, then I’ll take care of me. Learning to listen to my body and my triggers has helped me understand how important it is to connect with myself first. When I do, I’m able to give my daughter the open loving connection she is seeking.
You have the capacity to hold yourself and your child. You may have a pattern which keeps this from happening but the truth is you are enough and have enough for you and your child. Learning to flip the switch toward self care and love can happen with awareness and connecting with how important your well being is to you and your child.
Practice: Do a little wellness check with yourself each day. See if you can notice times of the day when you feel resourced and connected. Ask yourself what needs are being taken care of. Then notice times when your feel least resourced. Ask yourself what needs you are forgoing and take a moment to give to yourself.