What we focus on is what we will see. When I find myself focusing on all the things my daughter is doing that I judge as negative, I often find even more. When I’m tired and down on myself, I can walk in the house and within 2 minutes see everything that she hasn’t put away or hasn’t done to help out. Even if she walks in with a huge smile on her face, I am energetically focusing on all that she hasn’t done. What a downer!
I’ve learned, that this happens because of my own self-judgment. As a kid, I didn’t like chores either and I was told over and over how selfish I was. So, if you ever think, trying to get your child to do chores by shaming them, think again. To this day, I still don’t like chores, and yet now when I don’t do them, I do the internal shaming. When I focus on all the negatives and what I’m not doing I project it out onto my daughter.
As a single mom, I’ve had to learn to focus on what I am giving, and what I can take care of in one day. When I’m able to do this, I’m able to focus on my daughter’s “greatness” and all that she gives me, just by being alive.