I just finished “Zero Limits” by Joe Vitale and Ihaleakala Hew Len, PhD. I’m amazed that I haven’t heard about Ho’oponopono. For a long time I’ve known, and tell the Parent Coaches I train, that anytime a parent comes to you they have come to show you a part of yourself. Never think you are healing anyone. You are there to love yourself and if something comes up in you, in response to them, this is your work.
I also believe this as a parent. When my discomfort arises, in relation to something my daughter is doing, I try to find out what is going on in me. She is just doing what she is doing. What is happening in me, is about me. When I take 100% responsibility, for my part, I’m able to see her without projecting my discomfort onto her. It is challenging, especially when I think she has caused my anger, to return to myself and say “I love you.” So, simple and yet so hard to remember in the heat of the moment. A young part of me, wants to blame her for my pain. I try to get her to take care of my needs. When this happens, I am in the past, and want her to make amends for all the wrongs I feel inside. I’m the one who has to make amends and return to my true nature.
Saying, “I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me and thank you” are the core of Ho’oponopono and I’m grateful for these simple steps. They support me in cleaning any and all beliefs that could darken my light & love for myself and my daughter.
Practice: Whenever you are judging your child’s behavior see if you can practice saying the simple phrase, “I love you”. Say it to yourself over and over. Remember, you need to hear it from you. Let your child off the hook and return to loving yourself.