Conditioning is the programming we received from parents, teachers, society and anyone outside of us, which the mind begins to think is the truth.
Once we begin to identify ourselves with these conditions, we act as if we ARE them, separating us from our pure joy. It is not even a “bad” thing for we need conditioning for the body to exist.
When it becomes detrimental is when we claim our conditioning to be “me” and then project that conditioning onto our child. We give them the message unless they meet our condition, we will withdraw our love.
One way I know I am living out of a conditional space is when I “blame” my daughter for making me angry, making me late, keeping me up. You name it. Anytime, I am putting “blame” outside I am living from my conditioned self. Taking the responsibility, for seeing my identification with my learned conditions, is a great liberator and opens a space between us where unconditional love can awaken.
Practice: Today watch when you want to blame your child for your upset. Instead of lashing out, go in, and see how you are identifying with your condition which belives your child is responsible for your happiness! Turn it around and know you are responsible for your happiness. In releasing them, the space is open for pure joy to enter.