Experiencing the power of our child’s “wants” can trigger our deep seated beliefs about the “rightness or wrongness” of wanting what we want and wanting it now.
Every time we go to Target, my daughter is glued to the dollar bin. All of her desires come up and making a decision becomes almost impossible. I’m often tickled, when not judging her, with what she decides on. When judging her, for wanting something, that I know will quickly end in the trash, I am hitting into my own need to suppress her joy.
For, to tell the truth, I feel the same way when I walk by the dollar bin. I’m like a little kid that feels like there is some special treasure waiting just for me. Of course, I defend and justify my purchase while sneaking it into my basket, looking around to see if I know anyone. For I don’t want to be seen as a consumerist! Oh the power of suppressing joy!
Knowing that our child’s “wants” have very little to do with the “thing” is tricky. For we all get caught on our beliefs around consumerism and plastic and China and raising entitled children, on and on the list goes. Remember, the desire is an expression of joy and if you meet it with your own joy the judgment about the “thing” will fall away. My experience is that when I let go, my daughter finds her own natural limit without me suppressing her pure joy!
Practice: Today make note of your “wants” and what you tell yourself when they arise. Also, become aware of how you respond to your child’s “wants today. Just take note!