Ahhhh……. Being with myself while being with my daughter in her “no” can bring up all kinds of things in my internal world. The one thing, I often forget is she feels the same way when I throw my “no” around without considering how it affects her.
Learning to sit with my own internal response to her “no”, allows space for her to say “no” without feeling my withdrawal of love. Raising a daughter, with a strong “no” is something I think is a great idea until the “no” is directed toward me. Seeing how my mixed message can be very confusing to her, allows me to slow down and remember to make space for her to experience her “no” which always leads to a bigger “yes” in the end.
Practice: Today become aware of how many times you say “no” to your child. Also, begin to notice when they say “no” to you. Remember defiance is a strong “no” and when you meet it with a “yes” it will often relax. See if you can give yourself a little space to actually respond instead of react to your child’s no and see what happens.