Today, while I was sitting with a mom, she was able to admit that she wasn’t ok unless her children were ok. I remember, taking a breath and looking inside to see how often this feels true to me. Oh my! How can I expect my child to be the holder of the okness in our house? Whew! This one takes me to my knees as I ponder on the depth of this statement.
Knowing I am ok in the middle of chaos is my work….. I grew up in a lot of chaos and learned early to hold it together so my mom would be ok. I needed her to be ok so I could survive. So, this pattern has traveled with me all my life. Making sure I am ok became a strategy to get my needs met. I’m not sure I ever felt that deep intrinsic okness of my own being. This is what maturity and parenting is bringing me in the most profound way.
Seeing that my being ok is always intact even when I feel my world is falling apart is amazing. Stepping into the truth of the depth of this statement is liberating to both me and my daughter.
Practice: Today listen to your mind chatter to see how often you hear yourself saying you are not ok. See how critical the mind is when you make a tiny mistake and how it wants to color your whole existence with the story. Take a moment and feel your breath, declaring your okness to yourself in all its glory.