It is amazing how many ways I sabotage my own truth to please others and therefore end up teaching my daughter to sabotage hers. Even though I constantly say I want her to be her own person and trust her own internal timing and rhythm, l watch myself rushing her, and trying to force her to do things she clearly is telling me she isn’t ready to do.
I have to be aware of my own need to force my agenda and timing onto her, forgetting to slow down and attune to where she actually is. When I am able to do this, I can always attune to supporting her in being true to herself instead of following the lead of others. Even though in the short run this can bring up tremendous discomfort in me, especially when she won’t join
in with others, in the long run I can see how clearly this will serve her.
Being able to stand up in the face of peer pressure and say “no” is what I want her to be
able to do. And yet, I find myself often encouraging her to push through her resistance
so I can feel good about her accomplishments. Hmmmmmm! Sound familiar. This is truly
a tight rope to walk. What I have learned, is the practice is to trust my own truth and practice saying “no” especially when I want to please others making them happy and yet forgoing my
own deep truth.
Practice: Watch how many times in a day you say “yes” and really want to say “no”. See if you
can withstand the discomfort of others reactions and be true to yourself. Keeping your heart
open to your own need while holding your child’s disappointment at hearing “no” is a daily practice.