Yesterday I was tired and hungry and called up to my daughter to see if she was ready to go to lunch. She came storming down the stairs saying, “I can’t go until I wash my hair.” She had all morning to wash her hair but as soon as I was ready to go she wasn’t. She screamed, she cried, she yelled, “I can’t go out with my hair like this.” Now, I know she wants me to trim her hair and yet my hunger is also demanding my attention. I REALLY want to get some food in my belly before I touch the scissors but NOOOO she wants me to do it NOW!
BIG FEELINGS are racing around our house threatening to explode and take us down. She is expressing hers, I’m sitting on the couch watching mine explode inside. I know if I don’t work with them, they’ll make the dreaded control move and take over with a coup, telling her if she doesn’t come, right now, I’ll ……… Oh, thank goodness I know this one well and decide to hold my ground, breathing, and opening to her expression.
She storms up the stairs….screaming she hates me as she goes….I sit on the couch, breathing, checking in to see what is really going on inside. I am hungry and I decide I’m not up for a battle so I start making food at home. I yell up that I am making lunch and whamo….She comes racing down the stairs exclaiming, “I want to go, I want to go to lunch.” Oh my, here we are on the other side….Again, I breathe, relax into making food and tell her I am staying home and cooking.
She runs back up the stairs, crying and yelling at me….I slow everything down inside and begin cooking relishing in the smells. I keep returning to the sensations and smells in the moment. Breathing, relaxing. Next thing I know she is coming back downstairs and I tell her I’m cooking her some Mac & Cheese… She gives me a hug and says, “Thanks mom, I think I’m going to cook you some eggs.” We both look at each other and start laughing…”Boy” she says, “We sure are cranky when we are hungry.”
Another adeventure in riding the waves of BIG feelings.