Kim, on my Facebook fan page, asked me, “how do I get my son to eat healthier and more of a variety? ” Thanks, Kim…I love this topic for I hear about food issues a lot.
First, remember that the main food that children need is a loving connection. They have proven that babies who don’t receive warmth and touch fail to thrive. So, we can be sure that the base line food for our kids is our warmth and openness.
My daughter is very particular about what she will eat and what she won’t. Now, I am one of those mamas that live in Boulder, CO. We are super conscious and eating healthy food is at the top of the list. You can’t believe how much time mamas spend making healthy food for their kids. So, I jumped on the bandwagon and began trying to get my daughter to eat “green” food.
Well, let me tell you the battleground was a fierce one. The only way I could get her to eat “green” food was to withdraw the main food she needed, my loving connection. I found myself bargaining, threatening, and withholding my approval, all in the name of getting her to eat “green” food. On the one hand, my mind told me I had to get “green” food into her body (isn’t that what I learned?). On the other hand to get her to eat it I had to harden my heart and force her to eat . What a contradiction!
Now, I’m not saying not to offer healthy food. What I learned was to remember that the number one food was our connection and if I had to forsake this to get her to eat what I wanted her to eat it was not worth it. I learned and continue to believe that when I feed her the base line food, open loving connection, she finds a taste for healthy foods on her terms. It always proves to be true, in our house.
She is the one who asks for salad, when she is ready. She is the one who has become curious about food and how it supports her body. Now I get to follow the lead.
We were able to make an agreement that she would take a green vitamin and a fish oil pill until she is ready to eat more varieties of food. This way I get to relax and she can find her own timing.
Practice: When you find yourself wanting to force your child to eat healthy food ask yourself if you are having to be overly firm to get them to eat. If so, just notice, and see if you can open back up to giving them the main course, which is a loving connection! Keep eating healthy yourself, question your agenda and stay light! See what happens.
Tags: Agenda, daughter, food, love, loving connection
This week I’ve noticed, when having an agenda, my daughter, simply refuses to engage. Today, coming in from the grocery, I asked her to unload one of the bags. I’d taken her to lunch, bought her a sweet treat and driven her to a friend’s house so I thought asking her to unload one little bag would be a piece of cake. Well, the truth is, I felt like she owed me this one small little favor since I’d given so much earlier. Ahhhh…the agenda reveals itself.
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